"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up"

Image by Jacob Whittaker via Flickr

When did you realize you were an adult? (If you haven’t yet, when do you think you will?)

I can’t climb trees, but I still identify with Peter Pan. Reasons why I think I am not an official adult:

• I still exhibit juvenile, insulting humor.
• I fail at small talk or office humor.
• I allow elderly women to cut in front of me because they scare me.
• I roll my eyes
• I don’t watch “real news” other than The Daily Show and the Colbert Report
• I don’t read the newspaper
• I don’t drink coffee other than Starbucks‘ sugar concoctions (and even then – mostly lattes)
• I pine for a 32″ long (Finding Nemo) Nemo jumbo plush
• I forget to dust
• I need someone to kill spiders for me
• I can’t look at strangers in the eye when walking past each other
• I don’t watch what I eat (clarify: I inhale whatever is at home or free)
• I don’t see the merits of ironing clothing
• I think South Park is hilarious
• I take pictures of strangers’ hairy butt cracks hanging out
  • 
• Boys are still dumb and gross
• Etc

I will probably be an adult by the time my friends ask me to babysit their children for free. This is still a bit scary since some of my friends are already at the married stage.

To give this post some actual content, here is Stephen Colbert singing Rebecca Black’s Friday on Jimmy Fallon mp3: ripped and saved. I listened to this about a trillion times in the car. It makes me happy.

Related Articles

• Watch Stephen Colbert Warm Up for His Performance of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” (okmagazine.com)

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